| Teen Violence Essay, Research Paper
“Teens are viloent, cold and unremorseful because their families neiborhoods and society
are violent. Teens care so little about others because so little care has been shown them
(MacDonald 1A).” Many children today in society contain hate and bitterness, and
because of this do they become a problem. Many argue that children become what they
become because they make their own bed for themselves in life. I am in total
disagreement with this theory. I stand by the fact that children become what they become
according to their upbringing and the environment they were raised in. Parents
determine the life a child will lead. Parents are the most important factor in a child’s life.
How they treat and act to their children will determine how they become morally and
sociably to society. Divorce, lack of love, lack of discipline, and lack of attention are all
factors that support that parents determine how a child becomes. Parents are role
models, and raising their children together, with love, with discipline, and with lots of
attention is not only their job, but their responsibility as parents. Parents determine how
their children become.
As the years go by, we see a higher and higher divorce rate. As this rate goes up,
so does the crime rate. Couples today have forgotten the word commitment. As a result
of this, the children suffer. It is hard to grow up with separated parents. Most children
become bitter or angry as they grow because of their divorced parents. In some cases the
parents fight or argue which can affect a child, and may adapt the child to be more
aggressive. Also, when raising a child in a divorced atmosphere, what kind of lesson is
he/she learning? They will learn that a commitment is not a serious thing. That can
affect them when they go for a job, or get married. Since parents become role models to
their children, they must not lose sight of the fact that I do, means I do. A child needs
both parents to always be their, show love for each other, which that love reflects upon
the child. A child needs to around as much love as possible, but when he/she is raised in
a divorced atmosphere, they lose that love that only two parents together can give them.
“Love, the idea goes, is nature’s way of getting sexual partners to stay together long
enough to produce and care for a child (Flanigan H05).” You can’t properly raise a child
separated. When couples make the commitment and have children, divorce is immoral
and unjustifiably wrong. “I do” is a really strong phrase, life changing. Couples have
take time and realize how much of a commitment that is. Even though people say
divorce is inevitable in some relationships, those are the couples who need to realize not
to bring a child into this world. Some say, “It was an accident”, BS. There are no
accidents when it comes to the subject of a child’s life. And causing pregnancy is a
reason to get married, but the risk of divorce for couples who marry for this reason is at
this time, is well over eighty percent. Divorce is wrong and cause a child to become
depressed. And a depressed child is not a functioning child, psychologically. And an
unfunctioning child is at risk of becoming psychologically unbalanced. This all can lead
to drugs, alcoholism, or even abuse to themselves or to others. Then they have become a
child that is immoral and a problem to society. All this from divorce, all this because of
parents, and an outcome of a problem child. “Children need both their parents
(Raspberry A04).”
“Love, we’ve heard is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise. It’s a
disease which fills you with a desire to be desired (Flanigan H05).” Love must the basis
when bringing up children. Love must be fulfilled by both parents and the child must
feel loved. Only love can bring a child up to be moral and a great person in society. A
child without love will not grow up right. Love is an emotion, but also an important
value in a child’s life. Sue MacDonald of the Cincinnati Enquirer writes, “Unattached
children will likely become loners or seek the nurturing aspects and values of another
group, such as gangs (MacDonald 1A).” She goes on to quote that the capacity to care
for is really tied into how you were cared for. That falls back on the fact that children
need to be raised with lots of love in order to become a stable and moral person in the
future to society. “Love is the basis of one’s conscience (me).” Without a conscience, a
child can not learn right from wrong and learn from his/her mistakes. The amount of
love shown to a child by their parents, will determine the outcome of that child’s life.
Discipline is a major factor in raising children. Discipline must be enough, but
not too drastic. That is something parents must determine and is one of the hardest
determinations in parenting. Too much discipline can lead to the subject of child abuse,
which that turns a child into a psychological wreck, but not enough will lead into a child
that will be irresponsible. Reason why the right enough discipline needs to be present is
to teach a child values and responsibilities. Enough discipline must be present also to
show the child that no means no and that things in life don’t always go perfect.
Discipline teaches a child a very important lesson, the lesson of life. But then some
parents use modes of discipline that can lead to a very important issue, child abuse.
Nothing a child has done should lead to the striking of the child. Though discipline is
important, it must be controlled. There are many other forms of discipline ranging from
grounding, to taking away luxuries. But when parents start taking away necessities or
physically strike a child, then it is considered a form of child abuse. An abused child will
not grow right emotionally or psychologically. They become adaptive to an abusing
environment and think that that is how life is. They then will start abusing themselves,
others, or even their own children. Then for many generations will this abuse go on in
that family. Parents and discipline will control the turnout of a child’s life. It will also
determine that child’s child’s life, and so on. “If children bond to a dysfunctional parents,
the children usually repeat the mistakes or adopt the emotional pitfalls of their parents.
(MacDonald 1A).” It is so important to have a strong disciplinary format when raising a
child, but that format must stray away from physical punishment, or abuse. It is much
responsibility in finding the proper format of discipline when bringing up a child, and
also imperative to the child’s future.
Neglectence plays a big part in the reason why a child may grow to be
psychologically unbalanced, or become a “bad seed”. Divorce, lack of love, and lack of
discipline all define a neglected child. Neglectence is also considered to be a branch of
child abuse. An abused child can not grow up right, no matter how much counseling or
help, the abuse is always in their head and makes them naturally bitter. It is the
responsibility of two parents, to show the love and attention a child needs to function and
grow right. A child needs his/her “role models” to be there when they are needed to be
there and to give the love to a child, that that child needs. “Parent-child “bonding” is the
first stage of caring . . . bonding is well established by age three (MacDonald A1).”
When a child is neglected or bonding does not occur, children can suffer lifelong
consequences. In many cases, they may be unable to trust adults feelings – including
empathy and sympathy for others. They become a closed and bitter person. They know
not of the warmness of love, but of the coldness of neglectence. Parents need to be there
when their kids get awards in school or have a game. The child needs to feel support
from both his/her’s parents. To be there for your kids is a responsibility in parenting. A
child must be happy and content, and most important, loved. If a child is neglected,
he/she will not know how to love or why to love. Attention from both parents is most
important when brining up a child. If the parents are divorced, abusive, non discilpliary,
or do not show love, then they have a neglected child. And a neglected child is bitter,
dysfunctioal, and may become psychologically unbalanced. Parents must show children
the love and attention, because if they don’t, then they become responsible for the
outcome of the child. It is not the child’s fault, it is the parents.
When all these issues are brought up, it can only be seen how influential parents
are in a child’s life. Children are adaptive to parents. They look at the parents and see
what is right and what is wrong and what is acceptable. It is so true that if parents
smoke, then that child will smoke. Maybe not in all cases, but in a dominet percentile.
Any child that is improperly raised is going to become inproper. Parents must wake up
and realize that the child’s problem is within hiser’s upbringing. Parents do determine
the outcome of a child whether it being of good or of bad. When a couple decides to
have a child or childeren, they must realize the responsibilities that go along with it.
They must realize that when they have child, they become role models. How they act and
raise their child will determine the child’s life. How that child turns out is totally the
responsibilty of that childs parents. Parents determine the life a child will lead.
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