| Essay, Research Paper
What is the right religion? What does it mean to be a Christian? These
are questions that have been dwelling in my mind for a long time. I think
most people are born into their religion, but which one is the right one?
Is there a right religion? I was born into a Christian family, therefore I
have had a Christian influence, and because of that, I am Christian. Or I
like to think so.
When I was younger, I would go to church almost every Sunday. I liked the
idea of going to church because it was the right thing to do, and it was
fun. I tried my best to go by the rules in the bible, and believed
everything it said. I had fun in the Sunday school programs because they
told us stories I could understand, and we did fun activities and crafts.
Once I was too old to go into the Sunday school program, I began to think
church was just boring, mostly because I rarely understood what they were
talking about. Jesus this and God that. All these stories and theories
didn?t make sense to me. Most of the youth classes for teenager didn?t
take place at the same time as the sermon. I began to get annoyed doing the
same thing over and over again. To me it seemed that all we were doing was
sitting in an uncomfortable chair, singing, and listening to an old man
that was telling us what rules to live by, and I felt like I was being
chastised. It was the same old routine every Sunday. I could almost
predict when he would tell us to get out our bibles, or when he was going
to tell us a long story. I looked at the programs every Sunday before the
sermon started, and it always seemed we were doing exactly what we did the
week before. The only thing that was different was the stories and the
topics.
Although these thoughts have lingered in my consciousness for almost as
long as I can remember, I tried to push them into the back of my mind. I
have always considered these to be bad thoughts. I never mentioned that I
didn?t like going to church because that was wrong, and I liked to think I
enjoyed church, yet I got offended when someone said church was boring, or
that they didn?t believe in God. I thought they were ignorant, yet I did
the same thing, only difference was I did believe in God, and I kept the
thoughts about church to myself. I was still just as bad.
My family was never the ultra-religious type. We didn?t pray before ever
meal, we didn?t fast, and we didn?t eat only certain foods on certain days,
but we still tried to live by the bible. When my mom remarried, we still
went to church on Sunday but it was a little more difficult to find a
church that we all liked. My Step-dad and his children were catholic, and
my family wasn?t ever part of one church for an exceedingly long time, but
we weren?t catholic. We moved churches fairly often, so it wasn?t a big
deal that we were moving again, and we didn?t have a problem with
Catholics, they just had some different rules than we were used to. Soon
we found a church that was a mix of what we were used to and what they were
used to. As I got a little older, I began to somewhat understand what they
were talking about in church. Although my interpretation was still
different that the adult?s.
Then one day I woke up to the sound of my step-father screaming, ?Holy cow!
They got the Pentagon!? Only there was a different word in the ?cow? spot.
I was curios and surprised. ?What is he yelling about?? I thought to
myself. I got out of bed and walked upstairs. I asked him what was going
on, but he was so engaged in what was happening on the TV that he didn?t
say anything. My mind was racing. I looked at him watching the TV with
his jaw dropped when the first tower was hit. It was a re-play, but it was
the first time I had seen it. I began to see what was happening, but
nothing had registered in my mind yet. I didn?t know why this was
happening, or who was doing it. I didn?t go to school that day, instead I
watched the news non-stop until I had an idea what was going on. There
were certain things the news didn?t let us see, but my imagination was
running ramped and the pictures in my mind weren?t pretty. I saw the faces
of screaming men and women as they watched people throw themselves from the
tall building. Every noise outside made us wonder, and every plane that
flew over our house made us worry.
After September 11th, I had many more questions about God. Why would he
let this happen? I also began to have questions about other things like,
?Why do some people have so much, and other people have nothing??, and,
?Why are millions of babies killed before they were even born, and why were
so many people okay with this?? That day in September brought about many
questions that didn?t have to do with what happened that day. Soon I was
mad at God, and I told him that. I started thinking, ?What if you believe
in God, you believe Jesus is who the bible says he is, and you live by the
basic rules in the bible, but you don?t worship God.? Is that Christian?
I didn?t think it was, so did that mean I wasn?t Christian anymore because
I had these thoughts? What did it mean to be Christian? I knew the bible
said Jesus was the way into heaven, I believed that, but I didn?t devote
myself to him. Did that mean I wouldn?t go to heaven?
My own thoughts were scaring me, yet I couldn?t stop them. Then one night
I prayed. I prayed for the first time in months. I asked god all the
questions that I had for him (or at least all the questions I remembered
having), and then I fell into a deep sleep. I didn?t get any reply for a
long time. I began to think maybe I had, and just didn?t recognize it. I
watched stories on TV about people that went from no religion, to being
Christian in one day, and I read many stories of inspiration, but I
wondered why this wouldn?t happen to me. Instead of asking him the
questions all over again, I just decided to forget the whole thing, and I
concentrated more on other things.
Not too long after that, I got an e-mail from one of my friends. It was an
opinion someone had wrote about the same things I was thinking. It said
that people blame God for things that happen in our homes, in our schools,
and in our towns, but we have banned him from many of these places.
Religion isn?t talked about openly in public schools, and some people get
offended when we talk about religion in public, however we still blame him
when bad things happen, even when we don?t allow him in.
I wasn?t sure if this opinion could be mine too, but it was something, and
it gave me another perspective. I try to think of things more positively,
and I try to stop blaming God for things we do to ourselves. I still have
many questions that I am not sure will get answered so soon. I have come
to have a better view of God and religion. The e-mail has brought new
questions that I hope to find answers for by myself, answers that will come
from the experiences that are yet to come.
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